Tag Archives: confidence

[Toni] What is wrong with you High Street?

Argh I’m getting so frustrated trying to find new clothes that fit recently! I just don’t understand how some bottoms I can be a size small and it’s still a bit big and then other times a size 12 is digging in or I can’t even do it up!

It’s easy to let this get into your head and you start thinking “oh I need to lose weight then I will fit into it.”

NO.

Clothes shops for some reason have different measurements for the ‘same size’ (huh?) and it’s so confusing. You just have to remember, if you pick up a size 16 it doesn’t mean you will actually look like you are size 16 – not that that is a problem anyway. I’ve known so many people who refuse to try on the bigger size just because of the number. It doesn’t mean you have put on 10 stone all of a sudden!

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Saw this on twitter – love Kat!

H&M are definitely the worst culprits. I’ve tried on some skirts and trousers in a size small and they are too big, yet a size 14 trouser sometimes doesn’t fit (I am 12 by the way).

I’m finding at the moment if I try on size 12 dresses, they are always too big at the top. Designers, please remember that just because people are size 12 it doesn’t mean they have a DD cup size. Some of my tops are size 8!

So girls, don’t worry if you are fitting in a big size or a small size – the number does not matter. As long as you feel good, that is all that counts.

[Toni] Focus on health

I’ve just opened my emails and found my newsletter from Neghar Fonooni. She is so brilliant! Everything she writes about is exactly my views on health and fitness, most importantly it’s about listening to your body.

Since I have finished the Bikini  Series challenge and took a holiday in Spain, I haven’t got back in to a rigid fitness routine. Now I know I definitely needed the rest and was actually pushing it too hard. The only consistent fitness for me is Zumba and badminton, because it is fun…although I think I need a break from badminton soon as I am starting to get frustrated with it.

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Me and my Zumba buddy!

When I do workouts at home, I choose Tone It Up or Jessica Smith. I have done a couple of TIU ones the past couple of weeks and they are so much more challenging since I’ve relaxed a little bit. I find it much more enjoyable because of that.

Because that’s what exercise should be – fun!

I don’t set targets anymore, I just do what I feel like and it’s made me a happier person.

I think I’ve also broken free from the scales! I’m one of those people I see on social media that I always get jealous about. Am I finally free?! Let’s hope so.

I’m definitely swinging towards the more Body Positive side of things. You should try it, it’s awesome!

[Toni] Bikini Series – finished!

Woah- I actually stuck to a whole challenge! I am feeling gooood.

I got back out on my bike (I will admit going down hi was very scary!), tried new routines and ate loads of yummy food. Combining the Tone It Up workouts with the Slimming World eating plan was definitely a good thing for me.

Week 7 was definitely the hardest – Karena and Katrina amped up the schedule big time and there was so much to fit in. If I wasn’t going on holiday I don’t think I would have stuck to it to be honest. It is hard and I feel good and strong but I have sacrificed a bit of sleep to get the routines done. Not something for everyday life for me.

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My favourite part of the challenge of course was meeting up with all my TIU UK Mermaids – well, Unicorns now actually. We had a great weekend away, bonded a lot more all while eating healthily and exercising together. So fun!

Week 8 was the Slimdown….I had good intentions but then ended up being at risk of redundancy so treated myself to a brownie or some chocolate some days. Nothing major though – everything in moderation!

I submitted my Transformation story to enter the competition so hopefully I will win some prizes. All in all I loved the challenge and I feel great! I don’t care about looks anymore, just want to feel strong and healthy 🙂

 

[Toni] Spring warm-up for the Bikini Series!

Hey guys!

So last week I got myself in the habit of morning workouts everyday again in preparation for the Bikini Series. I’m feeling pretty good!

I’ve definitely been pushing myself a lot more and have started doing kick-boxing workouts. They are so fun! I am definitely feeling sore in places that I wasn’t before.

Bodyposipanda is one of the many Body Positive bloggers that I have been following, to make sure I stay in reality and not get too carried away with “clean eating” and fitness. You’ve got to remember that life is too short to be too strict, and getting obsessed with it all is far less healthy than eating some ice-cream or a pizza every now and then.

Talking about ‘bopo’, Shape Magazine are doing a new campaign called #LoveMyShape – it is awesome. We need more stuff like this in the media, fo’ sho’. Definitely one to have a look at!

This week I will be trying to stick with morning workouts again, although this morning I couldn’t as my legs were so tight from my bike ride. The soreness has eased and I shall be doing a workout later!

[Toni] Counting Macros

Macros. I’ve seen this a lot but it never really fussed me to look into it much. When my friends decided to count theirs, it turns out most of them were not eating enough protein. I was curious what my macros would be so decided to check. I can’t remember what website I went on now, so apologies!

Anyway, macros are the amount of protein, fat and carbs you should be eating everyday. I’m not sure exactly how to work them out from the top of my head, but it is basically calculating calories you need everyday from your weight and then I put in whether I preferred high fat/high carb/high protein diet etc.

My macros are:

Protein: 150g

Fat: 75g

Carbs: 131g

If you google it you can find lots of websites to calculate them for you.

My fitness pal calculates them but they were lower, so I am aiming to hit MFP goals everyday and if I go slightly over it doesn’t matter. What I have learnt is that I was not eating enough everyday, and it was all high in sugar.

This week I have been working on eating less sugar and upping my protein (I was eating nowhere near enough!). So I have just devoured a boiled egg and small chicken breast for a snack. So yummy and satisfying! I had protein pancakes for breakfast with greek yoghurt and raspberries – I was so full and they tasted so good.

Doing this on top of Kayla Istines Bikini Body Guide 1 for nearly 2 weeks, I have seen results already! It’s been great being able to eat more and still lose inches. I’ve been depriving my body for so long, it’s scary how easy it is to not realise!

I’ll let you know my progress with BBG – I am determined to last 12 weeks! With the support of my TIU UK girls I know we can all do it!

[Toni] Being good to your bridesmaids

I’ve just been reading a few blog posts on the subject of “I’m a bridesmaid and my friend has asked my to change my appearance for the big day”, ranging from dying their hair to a normal colour to covering tattoos and even losing weight.

These thoughts never, ever, crossed my mind when I was dealing with my 4 bridesmaids. They are all different shapes, sizes and heights! They are all gorgeous and it doesn’t matter if they have a bit of extra weight on them or not. 2 of them are self conscious about it and I knew the same dress wouldn’t suit them all, so we opted for different dresses in the same colour and got them altered if needed. It worked perfectly.

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Finding a dress for the 2 self conscious ones was kind of sad, because they would mention about being “fat” and “massive”, when they looked lovely. Plus what can you say to that when they are convinced they look horrible? (note: when I try and sound enthusiastic I end up sounding sarcastic!). I wanted them to feel pretty and comfortable and I think it worked.

A family member kept turning their nose up at a couple of my bridesmaids tattoos too, which really annoyed me. The tattoos are part of who they are and it’s kind of insulting if you ask them to cover them and turn your nose up at it. Yes, it’s not to everyone’s taste, but who cares? It’s not harming you in any way.

I chose my bridesmaids because they are my closest friends and I love them for who they are, not because I wanted model perfect photos (boring!),. That’s not what a wedding is about.

Bridezillas need to take a step back and really think about what they are saying before they do that – you’re getting married to the love of your life, everyone is there to celebrate that love and all eyes would be on you anyway. All that matters is everyone turns up and you get to sign that certificate!

[Toni] Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

So I went for the chop last week! I have been so bored with my hair as I hadn’t had it cut for ages, so I decided to do something I’ve never done before – get it short! I couldn’t get used to it at first but now I really like it.

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I now need to just dye it red.

I also finally got to wear this dress I brought from Sugarhill Boutique – I love this shop! I go to the one in Brighton whenever I visit.

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Anyway, I guess the main reason of this post is to say – don’t be afraid to do something different! I was so nervous cutting my hair but I didn’t let it stop me. I was also wary of wearing my dress as I am so paranoid about my belly, but everyone has said it’s nice and pretty so I made a good decision to wear. Why would I buy something to just waste it hanging in my wardrobe? Too many times people let their nerves get in the way of them changing their lives for the better – you shouldn’t! You should embrace everything, try new things all the time and if stuff doesn’t work out, then at least you tried and you know now.

[Toni] When ‘health’ becomes an obsession

I’ve just read this:

“Another 1000 calorie workout today and I was fasting!! Felt a little unwell half way through but managed to carry on. Hope I’m even now with the food but will do another 1000 calorie workout this week or maybe another 2 !! But keeping it light tomorrow with just lower body”

I’m seeing far too many sentences like this lately. I think when people focus on calorie intake and calories burned more than enjoying food and fitness, it becomes an unhealthy obsession.

Of course you might end up doing a workout that does burn 1000 calories but in my opinion, it should be something you find fun and you didn’t plan to burn that much. And then you should eat enough food to give you energy for it. I don’t think that planning these workouts 3 or 4 times a week on a low calorie diet is that healthy for you to be honest.

Life is short, you never know what’s around the corner. Eat the food you love and what makes you feel good. Never get to the point where you feel faint and weak (please!). Even as I am writing this I feel a bit low on energy, so guess what? I’ll eat a snack! Apple and greek yoghurt, yummy.

Do exercise that you find fun! I went to Zumba last night and it helped me decide to quit the gym. The gym is boring! But if you love it then you stick at it, everyone is different!

JUST DON’T OBSESS. It’s not worth it.

Cassey Ho you are not fat

People are so stupid. Sometimes I wonder why I don’t like the human race (I’m really not a people person, how do I have any friends?) but then they make stupid comments like “That crocodile is real!” (at a crocodile sanctuary), and say that someone like Cassey Ho is fat and I remember why I don’t like them.

Cassey posted this video which I watched this morning. It was about her views on Body Shaming and I appreciated her honesty. A lot of people will act like they have a thick skin and pretend they aren’t hurt, but saying to someone who used to be overweight and worked so hard to become healthy that they are fat? That they shouldn’t be a fitness trainer because they don’t have six pack abs? Of course that is going to be hurtful.

So many girls will be told things like this. Yes, some of you will be able to brush it off and carry on proudly as you are. But for others? They will take the comments to heart, restrict what they eat, exercise constantly to the point where it becomes an obsession and BANG; you’ve got yourself an eating disorder.

Just because you have a six pack and look extremely toned doesn’t mean you are healthy. Letting it become an obsession is one of the unhealthiest things you can do. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others, nourish our bodies so they work like they are supposed to, exercise because we enjoy it and most importantly, WHEN WE HAVE THE TIME. Exercise should revolve around your lift, not the other way around.

I’m not going to preach that we should all be supporting each other. Jealousy is a strong emotion and the comments will never stop. Instead, we just need to learn to give the middle finger to these idiots and concentrate on how we are feeling about ourselves. If you feel great, strong, healthy and comfortable, then fuck ’em. Life is too short.

~ Toni

Single-schmingle 

This post isn’t about body acceptance, but more about confidence. I was in a relationship with my ex-partner for 8 years, to begin with it was everything that was missing from my life, he was in all intents and purposes, the one, I felt it in my bones. We had a good 5 years together, but after the death of my father we both hit the wall head on and it became difficult. A lot of personal issues began to surface and I think we both went into deep denial until the point that we were both spending time apart, only really talking to each other when we went to bed, or left in the morning for work. We were both miserable and so did the decent thing, we split up. I won’t lie, it was a mixture of heartbreak and relief, but mostly relief. What transpired after the breakup was a huge turning point for me, I hadn’t been single for 8 and a half years, it was a frightening prospect to have the security and safety of someone suddenly taken away. Thankfully I had tremendously loving friends (the beautiful Toni, co-author of this blog) who took care of me, put a roof over my head and gave me a safe and warm place to sleep at night. That poor girl put up with me for 6 months and I soon got my own place. Anyway, I digress, being single for the first time in years was a strange experience, I didn’t have much practise before in approaching men and flirting with them (and still don’t to be fair) but I didn’t seem to have many problems attracting the odd man (odd being an understatement!) and since November 2013 I have been with a string of diverse men, but never really reaching it off the ground. The most recent bloke in my life completely knocked me for six, he was pretty much everything I’ve been looking for in a man wrapped up in a six foot two package, but as ever, life enjoys pulling the carpet from under my feet and I’ve been treated pretty damn poorly in my opinion.  It started off so well, so much potential but the calls started to stop, the messages ceased to exist and I’ve not heard a peep out of him for about two weeks now. It got me thinking, was I doing something wrong? Why couldn’t I keep someone interested? And it dawned on me, it’s not my fault, it’s not his fault either. Sometimes things just fall apart, it’s not nice to deal with the fallout of failure, but you just have to try and accept that it is beyond your control, learn what you can, and put all of that towards the next adventure in your life. I kept thinking that I was missing out, I would see all of my friends coupled up and strangers holding hands and I’d get a yearning and longing; but it’s just not my time right now. I don’t necessarily believe in religion or ‘God’, but I do believe in serendipity and fate. I’ll wait patiently for my Mark Darcy and filter out the Daniel Cleavers, and in the meanwhile, I will enjoy being by myself, following my own pursuits and dreams. There is nothing to be afraid of being by yourself, have faith and confidence, shine brightly and enjoy being YOU. It’s taken me a long time to finally realise that being single isn’t a bad thing, you’re not deemed a social outcast because you can’t scare up a date last minute for an event, or an outing with friends. My date is me, doing what I want and wearing the best make up of all, confidence. 

 

And besides, there is so much to enjoy being single;

 

Travelling to any destination in the world, on a whim (and within budget obvs) just imagine waking up, shoving all of your clothes inside a suitcase and just taking off for a long weekend. You’ve always wanted to see the sunsets in Ibiza, or the northern lights in Norway. Go! Nothing’s holding you back.

 

That double bed in your room? How nice is it to stretch out like a starfish, well, when it’s not being taken up by the hoard of clothes, laptop and pizza boxes ;D 

 

And talking of Pizza, I’ll order myself a mega meaty feast, sit down sans pants and inhale it like a duck, spread out on the living room floor watching my favourite programme on the junkbox. 

 

I’m not idealising single-hood, or putting a downer on being coupled up. I am just expressing the fact that it’s perfectly okay to be on your own, and when the time is right, s/he will come into your life, whisk you off your feet and you can both chow down some mien and watch silly cartoons all day. It’s all about perspective 🙂